I love my Golden Retriever, Harold. Our Corgi, Barbara, is fine.
I say this because I was raised in the more traditional, “it’s a dog” style. Not ever part of this new-aged fur baby movement. To a certain extent, this stuff disgusts me. I have always had a very strict price limit for my dogs. If a procedure were to cost more than $500, I would not go through with it. I’m not sorry about this, either. Dogs aren’t humans, and we all have limits. Some may think this is heartless, and those same people wouldn’t pay a dollar to save a rat. Neither would I. Such is life.
*Harold has entered chat*
Now I’m basically one of those old women from Florida with a crusty white dog: I’m crazy for this guy. Maybe being a crazy dog person is in all of us, we just need to find the right one. Maybe I’m just a wuss. I guess we’ll never know.
It was imperative that we get Harold to Panama. The rest of the family also wanted to bring Barbara, despite my best attempts to gaslight them into changing their minds. How hard could it be to move a dog from one area to another on an airplane? They say we do it every day with humans. Last I checked, dogs were smaller and easier to handle than humans. My thinking was all wrong on this front. As it turned out, it was the most difficult task to accomplish when moving to another country. So difficult, in fact, that it necessitated hiring an expert to do the heavy lifting for us.
This decision was not easy, as it was extremely expensive (think my maximum dollar amount times seven or eight), but the alternative was literally me driving to Panama on the Pan-American Highway. Let’s just say that’s not much of an option if you prefer breathing to the alternative. This person we hired would take care of everything: the mountains of paperwork, the photos, the ticket booking, the transportation, the quarantine requirements, everything. I am really downplaying here how much work this is for your benefit.
Sometimes small business owners will quote work for way more than it is worth because they don’t want to take the job. You want a 3/4-inch shower door with no frame with four angles and on three different elevations? And you seem like an asshole? Sure, I’ll do the work for $10,000. If you’re dumb enough to accept that offer, then at least I’ll get a bunch of money.
This is what it felt like the country of Panama was doing to us for these dogs. Maybe Panama as a country just is more of a cat person, I don’t know. It felt like they were flipping us off. Unfortunately for us, Harold and I are tight. Like best friends tight. And my family likes Barbara. And I like my family.
So, we had to meet this shipping lady’s people to give them our dogs. But only one airline flies dogs into Panama. But they only fly out of Miami or Los Angeles. But we lived in Boise, Idaho. For those not familiar with geography, this is not near either of these two cities. Did I mention that due to COVID, almost every other airline stopped flying dogs in cargo? Well, I didn’t know it, either. That meant we had to drive to the closest departing city, LA. We also had to sell our car, so I guess we would be doing that in the City of Angels, as well, but that’s another story for another day.
Halfway through day 1 of the drive, we were somewhere between McDermott and Winnemucca, Nevada. We were listening to just a bunch of random music on Pandora, and “Starting Over” came on by Chris Stapleton. This was the first time any of us had ever heard this song. Man, it sure hit different with a car full of our only possessions and everything that meant anything to us. Wild to think that you can put everything you love into 176 cubic feet of Ford Flex.
Well the road rolls out like a welcome mat
To a better place than the one we’re at
And I ain’t got no kinda plan
But I’ve had all of this town I can stand
And I got friends out on the coast
We can jump in the water and see what floats
We’ve been saving for a rainy day
Let’s beat the storm and be on our way
When we heard that first verse, Taige and I looked at each other. Tears in our eyes, we just knew we were in the right place at the right time. I loved everything in the world in that moment, even Barbara. Sometimes those moments happen. It feels like the world is patting you on the back. Saying, “keep going, bud”. We felt like we had a lot of them happen in the process of moving to Panama. A lot of times, they happened just when we needed it the most, in our darkest moments. Just a little, “keep your chin up”.
In Los Angeles, we could have used more guidance. This is because I’m not used to driving in a big city and it’s easy to get lost. I really didn’t like it there, and honestly can’t imagine why anyone would want to call it home. To each their own, I guess. We ended up giving our dogs to a man called Will. We did this in a parking lot, like drug deals often do. Will reassured us about our dogs at a level that we did not deserve. I suspect he usually works with old women from Florida with crusty white dogs. People who hand-feed their dogs. We are not that. Yet.
I ended up seeing Harold again 3 days later. Barbara was with him. They were both a bit rough, but ended up recovering over the next week. Now, the Pacific Ocean is graced with Harold’s poop at least once a day. Now, the world is right. No need for more pats on the back, since I can pet his.
This might not be an easy time
There’s rivers to cross and hills to climb
Some days we might fall apart
And some nights might feel cold and dark
When nobody wins afraid of losing
And the hard roads are the ones worth choosing
Some day we’ll look back and smile
And know it was worth every mile
the eventually home 