Author Archives: garretthammerel

Listen: there is no quick answer to the question of why we live in Panama. I always get that question, though: “why?” I always answer the same way: “cheap pineapple.” Truthfully, this all started about six years ago. That was when my wife and I decided to take a trip to Spain. The trip wasContinue reading “Cheap Pineapple, Pt. 1”

As it turns out, you can’t just drive a car to another country and let it stay there. You have to ship it and pay a bunch of people a bunch of money. You also have to pay a bunch of time. This is called waiting. The shipping is called importing. More often than not,Continue reading “The Story of Selling the Flex”

We finally got a car. Not just any car, but my car. My 2019 Suzuki Jimny Sierra with absolutely no options. No lane-keep assistNo parking assistNo collision avoidanceNo backup cameraNo radar cruise controlNo cruise controlNo touch screenNo hybrid or electric motorNo fog lampsNo automatic transmissionNo split-folding rear seatsNo climate controlNo power rear hatchNo power seatsNoContinue reading “The Big Ones”

I love my Golden Retriever, Harold. Our Corgi, Barbara, is fine. I say this because I was raised in the more traditional, “it’s a dog” style. Not ever part of this new-aged fur baby movement. To a certain extent, this stuff disgusts me. I have always had a very strict price limit for my dogs.Continue reading “The World According to Harold”

I love cars. Now, you might be saying: “That’s no surprise”, or “understatement of the century”, or you may not know me at all. You know the old joke about vegans? If not, it goes like this: How can you tell if someone is a vegan?-How?Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. This can be extended toContinue reading “Old Habits”

I used to go shooting with the boys. It was great. I took it for granted. Someday, I’ll probably look back on those range days as some of the best days of my life. In The Game of Thrones, there is a line in Season 1. Maybe even Episode 2 or 3. Old Nan saysContinue reading “With the Boys”

He said “I’m telling’ youthat science has proventhat heartache is healed by the sea” I’ve gotta saythat I’ve gotta stay’cause this is feelin’ more and more like home We have been trying to go to the beach or the pool every morning before school. It’s not a big ask. The six pounds of sand thatContinue reading “Two Piña Coladas”

We went on an expedition for fish the other day. It was a great success, because we accomplished it. It would have been a failure otherwise. Think about what buying fish looks like for you. It certainly starts at the grocery store. Perhaps you grab a bag from the frozen section. Maybe, if you’re feelingContinue reading “Pescado, Langostino, Camarón”

I’m trying to buy a car. Està necesito. It has been my top priority for a week now, and lemme tell you what: it sucks. As it turns out, Panama is not interested in making vehicles easy to purchase. There are reasons that they have, but I am not interested in understanding. Only driving myselfContinue reading ““Car Buying” or “Frugal? HA!””

Every night my wife and I go for walktails. A new tradition. This is a walk with a cocktail, voila. Our latest has been tequila in pineapple guava juice. This shit is great. I promise. We walk until we are halfway though our drink or so, then come back. I say we do this everyContinue reading “Walktails”